October 2007: An assignment from my ADD coach.

How do you define independent (independence)? Webster’s Dictionary defines it as not dependent; not subject to control by others; not requiring or relying on something else. For me I would define it as someone who can handle things on there own. So how I would want to be come independent? I want to be able to take care of myself. By that I mean several things.

I want to be able to move into my own place. For right now I am renting an apartment from my parents. Most people my age have their own apartments or places that they call their own. I have something quite similar to that except that my family lives right above me.

Another thing about taking care of oneself is food. Without food you won’t have strength to do the simplest of things. I have dreamed about cooking an actual meal in a kitchen. The day that I could finally afford my own microwave was a proud day for me. I could use it to warm food and drinks. Food to me was the fast and easy microwavable dinner. These days I want to learn how to make actual meals like pastas, casseroles, and even an omelet. My dad knows how to make really good omelets and pastas. He can invent the most interesting things from simple kitchen ingredients. That is something I want to learn to do. I remember when I was in junior high and I would come home and make chocolate chip cookies. It was something I enjoyed doing because it was simple and tasty. The idea of making something so good and being able to eat it was a great joy to me. I want to feel that again.

In addition to food and shelter there is transportation. I know most people at my age haven’t been thinking about this much because they would have gone over this about twelve years ago. For me transportation is not really an issue really it’s more of a goal. I have wanted to get my driver’s license for a long time. You see I have been taking the bus for the last seven to eight years. Yes since I was a senior in high school. It hasn’t really been a big deal for me much, except when you have to be places and the bus reliability isn’t all that great. I have been telling myself “Someday you will pass the knowledge test”. My father has told me that once I pass the knowledge exam than he will teach me how to drive. What that is easy for you to say. When you try and try to memorize several facts and than take practice exam and fail it isn’t easy on your nerves when it comes to the actual test. I am hoping that saving money to buy a car is the motivation I need to actually study and finally take that exam. Yes I did say actually study. The reason behind that statement is that sometimes when you fail so much and get nervous at tests you tend to want to give up. I have done that for so long that I need to get the courage to say no more!

If I can do at least half of these things or even a few of them than I can truly say that I am independent. I can take care of myself. Who know maybe someday even have a family and take care of them. But that is another story.

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