7/18/15

As I was writing The Missing Link series, I realized I forgot a huge part of it the prologue. Also, why is it called Missing Link? Well that is exactly what I am going to do in this post. I want to explain why I am moving the rest of the series to my other blog A Girl’s Journey through Life instead of Starting Over 2013. You see there is so much to my story. For example, did you know that people thought I would not make it past my first birthday? Yep and 36 years later I am still marching down life’s road

Why did you call the series The Missing Link?

The reason I called the story The Missing Link is that I have always tried to find my niche in life. Weather it was my part in my family (immediate and extended) or the community. It has taken me almost a year or so to realize that I am part of a family and generation. I have become friends with some of my long distance cousins, uncles, aunts, and various community members who have known me my whole life (because I am so and so daughter). I come from a long line of hard workers. Although I spent 30 some years in America, I still had this link to Ethiopia. I never really realized that part of my personality comes from my family ties. So Missing Link has become one girl’s story of being lost in this passage of life.

How did you come up with the names Starting Over in 2013 and A Girl’s Journey through Life?

This blog (Girl’s Journey…) was originally A Mother’s Journey through Life.I started writing it as one mother’s point of view of life changing. See I went from girlfriend–>to fiancé–>to wife–>and mother in less than a year. I laugh about the length of 9 months with a few months in between each next spurt. I was a young woman who loved writing and wanted to basically start a journal for other moms/parents. I figured someone out there would understand why I would be needing cloth diapers versus disposable diapers. Does everyone feel as tired those first few months? Was I the only one that went through the 4 hours feed, rest, and repeat? Do military families have it easier or harder than non-military families?Yes, I was a woman with a dream. I had seen other people reach out to the online community and thought maybe I could put my two cents in here and there. I than posting articles about bullying, dreaming, and anything I thought would be helpful to not just me… but everyone (single parents, married parents, men, women, teens, and anyone who read my blog).

I was a peacefulhomemaker who wanted to reach out to anyone. The truth was I was also losing my identity as a woman. I was married to a person who subtly wanted to change me into his ideal significant other. I was disconnected from my family and many friends as the year went by. I also figured this was my last chance to wave the flag of my exceptional life. Did I want my son to look back on his mother’s life and feel proud? Did I want my family and friends to think I sold out and left this world any different than how I lived in it? I than realized before my son’s birthday how much had changed in the previous few months. I was so stressed trying to be the perfect mate that I forgot about myself. My writing was my only way to communicate my inner thoughts. Did anyone know that I was losing myself in storm and wasnot sure how to get back on track? What nobody (but a few close sisters) knew that 106 days after posting “Been on break…” I would be hinting that a change was about to happen to me. I had to decidewhether to keep my mask (that everything was wonderful and I was happy) of a perfect life or take back my identity of being a woman that stood for herself. As my dear mother put it, “Molly the road you are on is not the road you were meant to travel…please choose life choose what the Lord has for you.” So I soon made the decision to leave my son’s father and live in a local women’s shelter with my son. For almost 3-4 months, I disconnected my life from everyone and everything I knew. Molly A. was making a decision to take back her life. I did not want “S” to know where I was. I mean it was a small town where I had no one to turn to, but my Lord. I was protecting myself, my son, and my family.

Almost five months later, I literally put on my big girl pants and began my life again. I was on the edge of divorcing “S” and starting my life over from scratch. I literally left behind everything in that house. I left with a week’s worth of clothes for my son and I, any legal paperwork I could think of, and my wits end. I had counselor’s helping me to get over my anxiety. I had sisters and brothers in the Lord praying for my mind and body to be healed from the stress of the last few years. I had my family advising me to stay strong and do whatever it took to bring my son and me home. Home… that was a strange term to me. As a result, that is how I came up with the title,Starting Over in 2013. The day after Valentine’s Day Molly A disappeared and Molly S initiated to take the footsteps back into the world. I changed my name, my blog, everything. I have tried so hard to remember what happened in the last three years. What made me fall in love with “S”? Could I have done something different? How many people have gone through a rough offensive relationship and made their way back from healing the emotional and verbal wounds struck down on them? I decided no way is I going to stay silent. After I heard story after story of what could have happened to me. I could have had some sort of physical mark saying this is what happens when you stand up for yourself. Oh, he threatened to so horrible things to me… (pushing me down the stairs if I didn’t hurry up, telling me not to walk in a feminine fashion that I looked stupid, or that he would kill me before I took our son away.) How could a positive sunny side up woman like me turn into well let us just say I was a little more negative and bitter when I came back home. I was mad! I was mad at people for staying silent while I bared my life in silence. I was mad at myself for leaving my home and family to live with someone who just could not see how lucky he had in a woman like me.

What are your long term goals for these blogs?

I am hoping someday to write a memoir of my adventures. I also want to become a motivational or inspirational speaker. Ever since I went to my first ADD workshop, I always pictured myself as one of those speakers or authors who made a difference in people’s life. I want people to know that I do understand how they are feeling. That they are not alone in this world. Who knows maybe my story may become a movie, a book, or something huge like that. I just want people to not give up on their dreams. Do not let people put them down. We are all individuals with different skills and personalities. Be proud of what you have become… because you are a long way from where you are or were.

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