That’s my name. A personal essay.

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When people ask me if I wanted to be called Mahlet or Molly. I tend to go with Molly. I had an uncle who called me Mahaleta when I was young. He was a great guy. I always knew it was him calling when I heard that name. Just about everyone else called me Molly. I liked it because I didn’t have to hear the mispronunciation.

Although I have heard various pronunciation that made me smile. Mahoho was one so I shortened it more to Misty. That went well actually. It was the abbreviation of my full name. I used that my senior year when I wanted to be normal or in my case unique. My aunt used to ride motorcycles and that became my biker name. Who would imagine me on the back of a Harley or Gold Wing?

These days I get the funny looks of people trying to figure out if I am a foreigner or Habasha. It gets annoying until people accept me for who I am. An Ethiopian American. I don’t claim a region or language. It was my choice. Nobody pushed me. When people ask why don’t I speak Amharic or Oromo I have a simple answer. I had to learn the grammar of English. You try it sometime and let me know how that goes.

I think my grandparents would have loved me just the way I am. I love helping others that is the universal language. They probably be shocked with how much I have achieved so far. Plus I know how to pour a good cup of coffee that is the entry fee. Hospitality is another universal language that I speak. Can’t beat that! I give my experience in Customer Service the boast it needs. God knew I needed somewhere to be accepted.

So that’s my story and I am sticking to it!

Another episode of my phone and I.

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Today we reached two apps that kept eluding us. I was highly disappointed that Spotify only worked abroad for 14 days. So I transferred it to my laptop and kept Jango for now. My mom’s friend encouraged us to get Line. Now that I have it we shall test to see if it works in my area as well. Whats App has been doing well just need to test the calling capacity. Viber works in the city and certain areas.

As my bestie knows I get annoyed when u can’t email or message out. She reminds me that it’s okay and connect when and where I can. For now I am really content with what I have right now. Next time I am going to try to install a few games. Work and no play can be tough with healing. I have a thing for trivia and memory games. Plus the Bubble Burst helps my eye and hand contact. I have wondered about the Angry Birds. Yeah I am old school, but learning to work my way back.
That’s all from Sara and the phone. Got some suggestions tweet or email me. I love networking.🙂 Till next time tech ninja out!

9/23/16

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I have taken sometime for feeding my soul. Reading the Bible has been incredible. All the familiar heroes, women, prophets, and judges are returning to me. As I read the scenes come to life in my mind. I cry with Jeremiah and charge ahead like Joshua. The prophets of the Old Testament spoke to me through their words. I felt like they were teaching me lessons about myself.

I am feeling the familiar strength returning inside of me. I felt God calling me His own. I admit the hope inside of me is similar to a mustard seed. During my hard days it fights the darkness to survive. Than when each battle is done it builds a fire to remind me it is still there. That fire keeps me going even through the storm.

I began writing a personal essay about bullying. It was something I felt needed to be addressed. My heart says treat others as I want to be treated. I want people to know that words hurt! Just as much as sticks and stones. Only this takes lives more and more each day. I should know. It’s one of the inner battles I deal with.

So as we enter the end of September lets see how we can change with the season. You never know what a simple thing can do to change the world or even history

Sara

Welcome new Readers, Subscribers, and Followers!

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Thank you for choosing to read my blog. By doing this my dreams of reaching out to people are coming true. My name is Molly Sebhat and these are my thoughts on life. Each time I hit send/publish my goal goes along with it.

I write about life. How it has been and what it could be. I write about struggles with stress, anxiety, and things that people can relate with. I began this blog as a Stay At Home to a sweet young boy. As time went on I wrote about the struggles that occurred in my life.

Now I am writing as a person healing from PTSD, stress, and anxiety. I explain that people with disabilities are not that different. How we see the world is just another point of view. My mom, the driving force in my life, tells me that I have a story to share that might help others in the same position. So until I figure out how to write a book my blogs are my canvas to express myself with.

Feel free to share this with others. If I can change history one person at a time… than it is wort it. I am also writing at refresh28.wordpress.com. It is called Starting Over in 2013. It is a sequel to this blog.

Thanks again and hope to hear from you soon! msebhat

Note: Growing up the word disabled/handicapped refered to the parking spot we found for my mom. Otherwise she was a superhero with her crutches and power chair. She has a heart of gold for so many. How can one not be inspired!

Excerpt from a writing project.

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“Just keep swimming.” – Dory, Finding Nemo
How I have dealt with stress and anxiety.
By Sara Gamachu

Do you know what keeps me going these days? My faith, reading books, and my writing. Weeks ago, I got a message that threw me for a loop. I felt like I was thrown into a pit like Joseph. I gave myself time to grieve. I started questioned everything food, people, and especially myself. The tension in my body ripped apart and began showing itself in my personal appearance. It was that bad.

So my young self whispered to me. Let go of this and come find me. You are better than this do not lose yourself.

I was already reading self-help books or anything I could get my hands on. My mom pointed out that the key to my getting better was to know myself that meant going back to my first love, which had been reading. She knew my mind and soul still needed to be fed. To feed my mind I chose books from the classical section that could inspire me to grow from a casualty of bullying to a survivor of life. I began with The Scarlet Letter, which introduced to me to the ultimate shero in Salem, Massachusetts. Next, I traveled to Northern England with Pride & Prejudice. I discovered that love could look past a person’s social class.

To help with my soul I accepted a self-challenge to read the Bible hoping to find my way back to my true self. When I had gotten married, I made a choice that changed my life forever. Being the daughter of a pastor, I grew up wanting to live a healthy and content life. I was not satisfied watching my peers grow up doing social experiences while I lived in the past or even on pause. After years of the single and over protected life, I decided that there was more than one way to live. By then I was stepping into the virtual world via the chat rooms. I figured if it could not live it up in real life than I would go to the next best thing.

Boy was I ever wrong. I began lying to my parents and totally ignoring everything just for that few moments of pleasure. A few months of this, my health began to spiral downward. I was spending so much time online that I did not want to eat, sleep, or do anything else. I gradually lost weight and become oblivious to anything, but my new lifestyle. It was during this time that I opened an account with the social site myyearbook.com. Now remember I had no real dating experience what so ever. I had previously tried the online dating sites that did not pan out.

So I went along with a friend I had made thinking this was just another site. Once again, boy was I ever wrong. I decided that bad boys would just be trouble. I needed something that met my wholesome nature. After narrowing down a few of the suggestions one person caught my eye. He had sent me a “flirt” and we began talking. His picture showed a person who seemed to match what I was looking for in a friend. Not to mention he looked very handsome and average.

I gave it the “don’t judge a book by its cover” evaluation. After a couple months of messaging back and forth, I discovered that he was new in town and wanted to know places to visit. I gave him some landmarks that I thought he would like to visit. Finally, in October he asked me to talk on the phone. Afterwards he had the courage to ask if we could meet in real life. This lead to our first date. My first date ever. It was the beginning of a new chapter of my life.

Without any experience in dating, I went along with everything. He invited me to visit him on the weekends. At first, it was difficult because we were on opposite sides of the Puget Sound. I was determined to make this work so I conquer my fears and went into this relationship headfirst and heart last. This road was a not the traditional dating journey. It went way to fast, but at the time, I figured it was normal.

After dating for 9 months, the decision to meet his parents came up. Being in the military taking time off became a scheduling issue. We made it work though. After I met his family, I should have noticed some warning signs. Like the race card for one. Never in my life did I ever get questioned about my background. A few weeks after this meeting I got the surprise of my life. He proposed to me and within a few, we were married.

I began a life on the fast lane. Within months of getting married, we got our first apartment together. I did not exactly have a lot and he wanted to make sure I was provided for. I heard that phrase several times. I should have known that our life was not normal per say. For one thing, when Valentine’s Day came around he did not shower anything or me with gifts. His theory was everyday was Valentine’s Day so don’t expect anything special. This was the polar opposite of the flowers and gifts he gave me when we were dating.

I remember that holiday feeling awkward and confused. Was this what married life was like? Was this normal? Did I do something wrong? A few weeks later, I noticed that my body began doing some stranger things than normal. For one thing, I did not have my normal monthly visitor. He chalked it up to stress and transition. I wished it were just that. Next thing up was I could not keep food down.
I mean sure I had eating issues, but this was way different from what I was used to. Finally, I was more tired than usual. I chalked that up to my iron deficiency anemia. It sometimes made my hormones go wacky so how could this be any different. I had talked to a friend about it and she convinced me via phone that I should take a pregnancy test. I was like wow do you think?

With her on the phone with me, I walked from our apartment area to the nearest Walmart. Thankfully, it was not too far just crossing some streets lights and a straight line. I than went to the unknown section in a familiar female aisle. “Which one do I pick?” I asked her confused by the boxes. After a little advice I took the one that had the words displayed not the check marks. If I was going to do this, I wanted to be able to understand it.

I made my purchase and headed home nervously. I had not told my mother because I was not sure what to expect. We have discussed my hormones and anemia. So how could this be any different? When I got home, I opened the box and saw there were two tests. I guess I might need a back up just in case.

Remember I have no experience with anything like this so this was a huge moment in my life. After I did the test and waited the time, my future was sealed. Well folks I am glad there are two tests cause according to it I was pregnant. I shakily made three calls. One to my friend who had waited for my call back, one to my mother without knowing what was happening, and finally to another friend who was already pregnant cause I needed advice about what I was about to go through. I was a navy wife about to have a baby. Wow talk about life changing!

What happened next will go into the weird files. He came home and I was still taking in this new information. I shakily told him about my day. I thought he would take the news well. He was upset that I wasted money on a test that may not be accurate. He would not believe it and pretty much dropped the subject irritated. I than set up my first appointment at the military hospital.

I mean we were only married for a few months and had to wait for paperwork to get confirmed before I could see a doctor for anything. So a few days later, I went and saw the doctor. She was very kind and listened to my story about the test and not sure what was happening. We went through the physical and I went to the lab to do a blood test. It was then I realized that pregnancy tests were more accurate via a blood test.
I was told that I would get my results in one to two days. So naturally, I kept my phone on my awaiting the call. I went home and told him about what the doctor said. So the waiting game began. Luckily, a day went by and I got the call. Yes, my anemia was back… and I was pregnant. Oh and because of the argument the other day, I took the backup test because I was very emotional and unsure of everything. It came back positive!

It was a huge moment in my life because I never thought I would have children of my own. It was all very surreal because a year before I would never thought this would be happening to me. Sure, my life had never really been normal so why would this be any different. He did not take the news as expected. I began my speech with yes my anemia was back… and I was pregnant! I could not quite tell what he was thinking. Then he called his mom with the news, “We have a bun in the oven”.

A few weeks later I was scheduled for my first prenatal appointment. The feeling of nervous and excitement filled me. This was a new road I was about to travel in my life journey. I remember picking up the heading to the office to get the paperwork that needed to be filled out. I had a couple days to jot down the information that they needed about both our families. Getting information about my family was easy enough. The hard part was asking him for the information. For me it was a life changing moment.

I tried to find the right time to ask him these basic questions about his family background. He didn’t want to be disturbed after work. So finding the right time became a difficulty. When I did get the courage to ask him I got the feeling that it was so obvious. I ended up leaving things blank and hoping for the best. I mean it wasn’t a huge test right? Boy was I ever wrong. We went to the appointment and I gave the answers I had.

When the nurse asked for more information he got mad because I hadn’t filled out right or didn’t ask him. He didn’t say anything there in the office, but I knew that I had done something seriously wrong. On the way home it was a chilly ride. He refused to talk to me or even acknowledge my presence. When he did it was cold and demining. How could I embarrass him in front of the nurse? I should have asked ahead of time. I remember going to bed and sobbing because I didn’t know what to do.

Soon afterwards he made it clear that I was responsible to get to my appointments unless it was important I was on my own. It was truly my job to do everything correctly and not embarrass him. That was just the start of how I began my stressful position as a first time parent.

I began blogging more to help others who might be going down the roads of life. I have tweeted about my past thinking I shouldn’t stay silent anymore. You are not crazy, just misunderstood. I cringe at the words sunshine and abuse. I am in my late 30s and feel older. I tell myself to step back and take care of myself. Because I know the pain of words and withdrawal of love. My name is Sara and this is just part of my story.

What to do when your without service.

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We all get that dreaded message No Service/server is down. I sadly get that a lot. At first I felt like this 😱 than it got to this 😮. I finally got like this 👀 searching and hoping things would return.

So during the first weeks I decided to stop my Bible Studies on @YourVersion. It got irritating when it would not update or go to the next day. Than I stopped other apps because I knew the same thing would happen. I stuck to my basics that could have offline abilities like Gmail.

While this was happening I decided less pictures/images and more words. When I did have a draft box like on Twitter it gave me a chance to type away and post when I could. I figured at least people could see what I am doing even if it wasn’t on the exact day. Soon I was using Twitter to share my photos when I couldn’t do it on Instagram. I just made things work in my favor.

So that had been my daily life the last few months. Funny thing was in the big city it worked fine than it went back on the outskirts. So when I could update my app I would load up my phone and hope for the best. Than I get the this software doesn’t take this app. I get happy when I can load one than can take.

This is my way of making drinks out of lemons.

Have you ever had this problem? How did you cope? Share it in a comment or tweet me @SaraMahlet with your answers. So we all can bond deal with it together.

My phone and I New Apps: I did it!

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👏 Ok so remember the episode/post of me versus the apps I got that were not working? Yep my phone and I sad that Viber wasn’t vibing. Well fast forward to this week. I got not 1, 2, but 5 new apps on my phone! 👍😱

My phone was updating and adding like a pro. It was beautiful. I got Jango Radio for my music fix (you know I need my tunes) and Viber and a new one for me What’s App ( I thought it was called What’s Up). I have been abroad and I miss connecting with friends is tres important.

Plus for my net down days I decided to load up my draft box on Twitter. It has actually been a learning experience.👀 My ADD was in happy fatigue so this is a good education for me. Plus it gives me time to brainstorm posts. I am following ADD communities and other bloggers. It’s the need to connect and support each other.👍

Stay tune for photos on Twitter and so much more!

Have a safe rest of the week! 🚩

Sara Gamachu

@SaraMahlet on Twitter

My phone and I New Apps: I did it!

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👏 Ok so remember the episode/post of me versus the apps I got that were not working? Yep my phone and I sad that Viber wasn’t vibing. Well fast forward to this week. I got not 1, 2, but 5 new apps on my phone! 👍😱

My phone was updating and adding like a pro. It was beautiful. I got Jango Radio for my music fix (you know I need my tunes) and Viber and a new one for me What’s App ( I thought it was called What’s Up). I have been abroad and I miss connecting with friends is tres important.

Plus for my net down days I decided to load up my draft box on Twitter. It has actually been a learning experience.👀 My ADD was in happy fatigue so this is a good education for me. Plus it gives me time to brainstorm posts. I am following ADD communities and other bloggers. It’s the need to connect and support each other.👍

Stay tune for photos on Twitter and so much more!

Have a safe rest of the week! 🚩

Sara Gamachu

@SaraMahlet on Twitter

Aug 24

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Falling through the cracks or Just dropped there.

As someone with ADD I know about being misunderstood. At a young age I
discovered my difficulty of keeping my peachy folders organized with my
school work. Than there were the parent teacher conferences where the
comments "She is a nice girl, if only she could pay attention." I had a
love hate relationship with Math since around 6th grade. This was all in
my school life.

At home I was the trivia pursuit gal. I knew Bible, historical,
geographical, and pop art. I read books wanting to go to a world where I
was accepted. No need for math or neatness. I was my own person.

As a young adult I learned about how my mind was different. I couldn’t
believe that I was smart or even good at anything. I used my skills to
find my talents. My kindness was finally useful.

Now going into my 3rd year abroad I see things differently. Children
like me are labeled in their own way. Have a physical disability like
clubbed feet or missing parts? You get set aside or not even seen. You
are a beggar or worse nothing at all.

My mom volunteers at a rehabilitation community where patients come with
clubbed feet, polio, and various deformities. Those who stay on campus
are children healing from surgeries to help them. They look at her as a
hero because she knows what it’s like to be different. Look past the
wheelchair and the brace you see someone who faced the challenges head
on.

People can rise up from the cracks and say "Yes I can!" I am still
learning this. I have someone who reminds me that even with my quirks I
can still inspire someone dropped at that same crack.